Fluttershy Mows the Lawn
by NoteStretch
Summary: When Fluttershy's gardner is sick she learns a valuable lesson... In what it takes to mow a lawn (rated T for crude/dark humor)


It was a sunny day in Ponyville, but hey it always is. And on these days Fluttershy liked to sit out on her lawn and watch the birds and the bees do their thing. But today was different, today her grass was too long for her liking and it was too rough and it would give her a rash if she were to sit on it. When this would happen her gardner would take care of it but unfortunately for Fluttershy he is sick with mono. So it left her to do the job herself.

"Do I even own a lawn mower?" She thought aloud.

After about 56 bits and a trip to Filthy Riches Barnyard Bargains later she was ready to go.

Now how does this work? She thought to herself. "... So all I have to do is put my snout into mowers patten pending Snout Holder, so I can keep my snout in easily and comfortably while I mow, than push and go huh? Oh what's this?"

WARNING: TO AVOID SERIOUS INJURY TO YOURSELF AND OTHERS KEEP A DISTANCE OF THREE HOOVES BETWEEN YOU AND THE MOWER BLADES TO AVOID MUTILATION TO KEEP A DISTANCE OF THREE HOOVES THIS CAN BE ACHIVED BY USING THE PATTEN PENDING SNOUT HOLDER AND ALWAYS REMEMBER TO REMOVE YOUR SNOUT FROM THE PATTEN PENDING SNOUT HOLDER FOR WHEN YOU WANT TO MOVE WITHOUT MOWING.

An eep escaped the young mares lips after reading the warning she wasn't expecting it be so... Scary

After a few minutes of trying to bring herself to use the machine of death she tried using an old Iron Will technique she learned (Gotta mow your lawn? Don't act a fawn, just keep calm and carry on!) she took a deep breath and swallowed her fears and said to her self out loud "I can do this!" And then she put her snout in the patten pending Snout Holder and pushed the mower easily across the lawn

This isn't so hard!

But just then her grass hopper friend Hopper jumped into her field of vision and chirped a happy tune! that was cut short by the sound of whirring blades and him being decapitated. His body then began to twitch as guts start to shoot out of where his head once was. Hopper's wife and kids jump over to Hopper's headless twitching gut gushing copse and begin to cry. Fluttershy shrieks and backs up to look at what she'd done but forgot the warning to take of the patten pending Snout Holder. She backs into Hoppers wife Jumpette and kids Grassy and Skipper.

"WHAT HAVE I DONE?!" Fluttershy screamed at the top of her lungs "The cute little grass hoppers- my friends! Are dead now because of me, DEAD! WHYYYYYYYYYY! And the kids were so young and Grassy will never even know she was adopted! I'M A MONSTER!"

After an hour of trying to pull her self together she managed to say "I must bury them out of respect for them." She said weakly but firmly about what she meant.

Fluttershy found a patch of some loose dirt and began digging with her patten pending Hoof Holder shovel that she just bought from Filthy Riches Barn Yard Bargains. She shoveled the last of the dirt then looked in hole mortified at the scene before her. The hole she dug was full of worms she just cut in half with the shovel on accident and them shrieked.

She tried to fly away but hit a humming bird that then careened towards the cobbled path below it and hit it with a sickening SPLAT. Then her wings suddenly snapped to her sides and then became as unmovable as a 2 ton boulder. When she got up after hitting the ground she tried to run. But she then stepped on a field mouse that met its fate with a sharp loud CRUNCH!

"RAINBOW DA-" She began but realized a moment to late that the fruit bats were migrating over head from the Ever Free forest to Sweet Apple Achers. The scream then confused the bats in the front because of high pitched it was and they thought because of their echo location was revealing a wall so they hovered for a second. But alas for a second to long cause the back end greeted them by running into one another, suddenly they started raining from the sky hit the ground with a loud THADUNK THADUNK THADUNK THADUNK.

She began to cry but unfortunately for the ants nest in front of her she was about to rain on their parade. Her tears were so big and so great she flooded the ant hill and was forced to watch the corpses float out of the hill. One. By. One. She cried till she had no more tears to shed and then drifted off to sleep...

Three months later...

The gardner whistled a happy tune glad to be back to his life's purpose and not home with mono. Suddenly a foul stench greeted his nostrils. He looked at the horror layed out before him grass as tall as Princess Celestia with only parts here and there cut out like a foal finding a barbers buzzers and shaving their coat. He saw a hole dug right where he planted some rose seed the day before he got sick. And hundreds of dead animals strewn about.

On the door of the cottage he saw a note and it read: "I now see why you enjoyed your job so much, you sick bastard! Your services are no longer needed!"


End file.
